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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to make end of the world jokes... ... Like there's no tomorrow"

"In Texas we pronounce it ""nu-que-lur"" I'm often harassed about how I pronounce nuclear but I think fair is fair. If Yankees can have silent letters I don't see how come we can't have invisible ones!"

"No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a light saber."

"new way to pay A company in India is coming out with a competitive PayPal alternative called PayMyFriend."

"I'm trying to be more fit these days, so now I walk inside the store to buy my donuts instead of using the drive-thru."

"How does a Jew make his coffee? Hebrews it."

"I walked past Winnie the Pooh's grave earlier today It read *Here Lies Winnie the Dead Shit*"

"Last night my mom made dinner, serving up a nice plate of ""You had so much potential"" with a steaming side of ""You shoulda married Jeff."""

"Why was the lumberjack executed? He committed treeson."

"One time I didn't masturbate for 11 years... and then I turned 12."