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Joke of the Day
"I walked past Winnie the Pooh's grave earlier today It read *Here Lies Winnie the Dead Shit*"
Next Joke
"The Credible Hulk. ""You won't like me when I'm angry because I always back up my rage with facts and documented sources."""
"So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back... Apparently it's an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient."
"How do you fit an elephant into a string bikini? You take the ""s"" out of ""sex"" and the ""f"" out of ""way."""
"If you're hot I'm going to follow you. nnnnJust like I do on twitter."
"Why did the tin man go to hell? Because he's a sinner."
"If you every lose a friend that party's a lot don't worry... They'll eventually turn up"
"What do you call an ant who lives with your great uncle ? Your great-ant !"
"Just had a kale and quinoa salad and now my name is Autumn and I braid my hair and drive a Subaru."
"When I die, I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like Fidel Castro ... ... not screaming in terror, like his victims."