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Joke of the Day

"My wife told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt So I punched her in the face and fucked her twice. Har har har"

"Who wants to hear an awesome knock knock joke? Okay, you start."

"Did you hear about Mrs Dimwit's new baby? She thought babies should be pink so she took this one to the doctor because it was a horrible yeller."

"My IQ test results just came in and I'm really relieved. Thank God it's negative."

"My teeth are so crooked they should run for office."

"I haven't got a Twitter account, so I just carry around a megaphone to announce what I'm doing at random times. So far I've got 3 followers but I think 2 are cops."

"Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only comes once a year!"

"What does farm animal porn sound like? Brownchickenbrowncow"

"The best place to get pumpkins cheap is driving around the neighborhood at 4AM. Got 5 nice ones this morning."

"I couldn't figure out how to use my seatbelt.. Then it clicked."