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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the new movie about the Nazi with a speech impediment? Schindler's Lisp"

"Social networking has become a club. Twitter is the dance floor. Instagram is the bar and Facebook is the people crying in the bathroom."

"Ask a girl if she wants to dance. If she says yes then start shooting at her feet. Congratulations you are now Yosemite Sam"

"Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today."

"What can a lawyer do that a duck can't? Stick his bill up his arse."

"Sometimes I think I have the worst job in the world... ... and then I remember there are people who work in PR for Comcast."

"what is the stupidest animal in the jungle? the polar bear"

"A protected acct with 0 followers just followed me. Mom, is that you?"

"Getting a neck tattoo is probably the coolest way to show your love for manual labour."

"You heard the rumour going around about butter? Never mind. I shouldn't spread it."