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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the new movie about the Nazi with a speech impediment? Schindler's Lisp"

"I banned birthday parties in the office because if you don't care enough about yourself to take the day off why should we care about you."

"Why do Trans people hate the former Soviet Republics? [Fucking CIS scum.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commonwealth_of_Independent_States)"

"Why was Thor disappointed by his birthday party? Because it was more Loki than he wanted."

"You can lead a horse to water... but jet fuel can't melt steel beams."

"If I mess up at the beginning of a video game I just start over. This rule applies to life too. Used wrong exit on Fwy, calling it a day..."

"What do women's breasts and toy trains have in common? A: They're both intended for children... But, it's usually the father that play with them the most!"

"Felons would be a really valuable voting base... After all, we know they have conviction."

"Xbox One down! PS4 Down! Get an ambulance! Wii U! Wii U! Wii U!"

"I have got the best business idea of 2013, I am going to start Facebook rehab centers throughout country."