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Joke of the Day

"Getting a neck tattoo is probably the coolest way to show your love for manual labour."

"This girl just spilt ice all over my record player. I played it cool."

"Where does Christopher keep his dance shoes? In the Walken closet."

"A rabbi walks into a bar with a frog on one shoulder ... The bartender says, ""Hey, where'd you get that?"" And the frog says, ""Brooklyn, der's hundreds of um."""

"What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk? A Milk Dud."

"You can lead a horse to water, but you have to work really, really hard to get him up on water skis."

"How did alexander find out his wife was a slut? when she got the whores throat."

"Why don't female mathematicians use tampons? They are weary of anything that advertises discrete AND continuous protection."

"Why does Arnold Schwarzenegger kill all the bugs at his ex girlfriend's house? He's her ex-terminator"

"No, please continue to talk loudly on the phone, smoke & spit next to my table. No problem! I'm just going to follow you home and kill you."