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Joke of the Day

"Yo mama house so small that when she orders a large pizza she had to go outside to eat it."

"How many sorority girls does it take to change a lightbulb? Seven. One to change it, two to take pictures, and four to make t-shirts for the event."

"Boss: ""Do you know why I've called you into my office?"" Into My Office: ""Because that's my name?"" Boss: ""Yes, that's right."""

"[walking around still disappointed 6 hours after visiting an aquarium] wife: what did you think a tiger shark was, brent"

"Yesterday, Iran asked the U.S. for an extension on disabling their nuclear program. When asked how much time they needed, they said, ""10, 9, 8..."""

"I bought my kid some McDonald's today. He really doesn't like stocks though."

"Two snakes Snake one asks ""Hey man, are we venomous?"" Snake two responds, ""Extremely. Why do you ask?"" ""Because I just bit my tongue"""

"spot whats sandpaper like? dog: ruff whats the long grass on a golf course called? d: ruff whats the job market like? d: steadily improving"

"I work at a restaurant and one of the chefs there is both dyslexic and epileptic. Ended up sending out a chicken seizure salad."

"So my foreign professor overheard some attractive girls talking about how they like it long and hard. The exam the next morning sucked."