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Joke of the Day

"I work at a restaurant and one of the chefs there is both dyslexic and epileptic. Ended up sending out a chicken seizure salad."

"If two people love each other nothing is impossible... Except deciding where to eat."

"When I grow old, I am sure I will look back at my life and say ""aaaah! my neck hurts"""

"What did the owner of the gay bar do when his joint was full and he couldn't seat all of his customers? He flipped the chairs over."

"Wife: ""Bad day?"" Me: ""Stupidhead boss treats me like a kid."" Wife: ""Now now *pats head* eat your nuggets before they get cold."""

"I bet dogs have a really hard time playing Twister Left paw: grey Other left paw: darker grey, but not the darkest grey. Sort of in between"

"Why did the kleptomaniac dislike the insultingly boisterous man with a cleft palate? He couldn't take any more lip!"

"What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabi I'll let myself out now."

"Who's Bill Cosby's favourite Disney princess? Sleeping Beauty"

"What happen when you put Einstein in a -20C clean room? You get a solid-state frizzicist."