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Joke of the Day

"I work at a restaurant and one of the chefs there is both dyslexic and epileptic. Ended up sending out a chicken seizure salad."

"Bought a sled on sale in Boston Got a real tobahgain."

"Did you hear about the Crucifixion victims? They're screwed up."

"My sex life is like Antares rocket. - It takes huge amount of help to make it happen - It's really expensive - It ends with ""It's ok honey, it can happen to anyone"""

"Queen: ""come to bed"" King: ""not until i have a name for my soldiers"" Queen: ""k night"" King: ""babe ur a fukin genius"""

"My wife tripped and dropped the basket of clothes she'd just ironed. It may sound far-fetched but it's true. I watched it all unfold."

"Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead."

"Don't feel sad...don't feel blue... Frankenstein was ugly too..."

"The Bible says Jesus used a whip to drive out the money lenders... I wonder if they called it his ""Miracle Whip""?"

"I stole a futon from a shop. I think the police are after me, so I have been lying low."