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Joke of the Day

"Iron man is actually Fe male. don't dislike it if you don't get it"

"What's a lawyer's favourite pastry? Suet"

"My ex-girlfriend often told me to stop being so competitive. Like I was ever going to let her come first."

"Dude: You got a light? Me: Sure. *hand him a flashlight* Dude: I mean for my cigarette. Me: Yeah, he can use it."

"Two scientists walk into a bar... ...The first one says: ""I'll have some H2O"" The second one says: ""I'll have some water too"" The first scientist got angry because his assassination attempt failed."

"*passes cop car with radar gun *stares in rear view mirror for next 3 days"

"A double foot amputee hobbles into a yogurt factory and is immediately escorted out... They were lack toes intolerant."

"When someone asks if anyone has recommended Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy to me Reddit already."

"""Does this mean that we're going to be BFFs forever?"

"Life was simpler when photo albums were books containing pleasant family snaps and not digital online librarys of me puking in a shoe."