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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just killed? Isaac Newton died a virgin"
Next Joke
"A baguette up the butt is a real pain in the ass."
"Ted Cruz is complaining about ""liberal fascism,"" so I guess he's just stringing random unrelated words together, like ""potato doorknob."""
"I just want to be one of those dads who runs on the field & tackles an opposing 6 year old"
"Why did the farmer win the Nobel Prize? There was a clerical error. The award was intended to go to Malala Yousafzai for her advocacy work for education for young girls."
"The Patriots winning a Super Bowl without cheating"
"I really admire what Caitlyn Jenner did Took some balls"
"I just climbed a mountain of fish, or you could say... I scaled it."
"Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face."
"What did the wise man say to the fat guy? You should probably go on a diet."