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Joke of the Day

"I thought I found a mass grave of snowmen. Until I realised it was a field of carrots."

"And then God said, ""Let there be Black Friday."" and he saw that it was a terrible idea but it was too late cuz people were already in line."

"What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife."

"What do you get when you cross a pig with a tree A porcupine"

"I heard my idiot friend talk about inequality the other day and I couldn't help but draw some parallels. :)"

"I'm getting drunk while depressed. If I have your phone number, now would be a good time to put your phone off."

"Who is Monica Lewinsky's favorite NFL player? Ha-Ha Clinton Dix"

"a haunted house but it's just people paying bills and waiting in line at the DMV"

"GENIE: you have found my lamp, so I must grant you four wishes ME: I thought it was three? GENIE: You need four"

"How should a doctor treat a patient with Mesothelioma? Asbestos he can."