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Joke of the Day

"Why did the farmer win the Nobel Prize? There was a clerical error. The award was intended to go to Malala Yousafzai for her advocacy work for education for young girls."

"Did you hear about the guy who thought his dishwasher was talking to him? Told him to kill his neighbor's dog, in Spanish."

"Sometimes it's nice to feel another body pressed up against your own, even if rigor mortis has already set it."

"Astrology Fact of the Day (Aquarius) Aquarius, with an extra M becomes aquariums."

"I'm glad we finally have a strong leader I mean Putin has how many years of experience? The states are in good Russian hands."

"There's a reason why we can't hit bitches. That would be animal abuse"

"What makes me want to lose the will to live? /r/Jokes!"

"If you make a new sex position, do you get to name it? If so, I'll call it The Laptop. Internet required, partner is not."

"What do fish think about air? It's UN-B-REATHABLE!"

"Ugh, I'm starting to regret getting bangs. ""You don't have bangs."" Wait, what's that thing you get when a bat bites you? ""Rabies?"" That's it"