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Joke of the Day

"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss... but you won't miss. You've trained your whole life for this. Take the shot. Kill the moon."

"What is the difference between an anal thermometer and an oral thermometer? The taste!"

"What do you call a dog from another planet? A dal-martian"

"Why did the atheist fail algebra? He didn't believe in higher powers!"

"Did you hear about the overachieving masturbator? He's constantly outdoing himself."

"Eating noodles while studying for a test? That's so Ramen."

"Note from angry neighbor (above) and appropriate Army vet response (below)"

"How do you have sex with a vegetable? Ask if they want to-mate-O."

"Why did the Donkey Vacuum sell so poorly? Because it sucked ass."

"[leaving store without bag] Cashier: Forgetting something? ""Oh wow, how embarrassing"" *walks back to give her a hug and kiss on the lips*"