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Joke of the Day
"Note from angry neighbor (above) and appropriate Army vet response (below)"
Next Joke
"Think most people would be both disappointed and relieved if they realized just how little other people care what they do."
"My wife says I was wasted last night and honestly I don't think she's buying my story about having to be naked to guard the neighbors porch."
"I got caught making out with my cousin once - mum and dad went mental. In my defence we were just kids, and there was an awful lot of alcohol at her funeral."
"I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus. Then I saw her arguing with him about money. Now I see Santa drinking by himself."
"[NSFW] What's the difference between a bucket of dead babies and a pile of sex toys? The bucket."
"My friend asked me if I wanted to skip class. I said ""nah, I think I'll pass."""
"Instead of accusing me of eating your leftover pie, ask yourself why you had any left to begin with, quitter *said thru a mouthful of pie*"
"How many optometrists does it take to change a lightbulb? One? Or two?"
"Nothing makes me feel less like you really do wish me the best than signing your emails ""Best,""."