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Joke of the Day

"[tweets about one side of an issue to my followers who all agree with me already] hell yes I'm making a difference"

"I got some weed and hoes. Let's do some gardening!"

"We are gathered here today because Somebody ""glares at coffin "" couldn't stay alive."

"Thanks for sending your Blackberry pin to my iPhone. When did you get electricity in your cave?"

"My girlfriend asked me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down."

"How can you tell when a vampire is sick? By his coffin!"

"Where does Dracula buy his writing supplies? Pencilvania."

"I can relate to Alice in Wonderland. She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with the hope that it might magically solve her problems"

"Cats & Movies What did the cat do when he didn't want to watch the movie? He paws-ed it!"

"If you watch Cinderella backwards.. It's about a woman who learns her place."