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Joke of the Day

"Thanks for sending your Blackberry pin to my iPhone. When did you get electricity in your cave?"

"What does a vampire take for a cold? Coffin syrup!"

"Does anyone use question marks properly anymore."

"What did Kobe Bryant's teamates say to him while he was scoring 81 points? ""I'M FUCKING OPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"""

"*Dive rolls across the room naked Her- Why don't you just buy curtains?"

"How to pick up a girl in a club: 1. Stare at her 2. Walk up to her 3. Shout stuff"

"Dogs do their social networking on Assbook, via the World Wide Whiff."

"I will literally punch you in the throat the next time you misuse the word ""literally""."

"If people rode their spouses like they did their brakes the divorce rate would drop drastically."

"""Did you just say something?"" ""Uhhh nope?"" ""Really? I could swear you just asked me if I wanted a hotdog."" ""No I didn't."" ""Good, because I'm vegan."""