115788

Joke of the Day

"I tried to catch fog yesterday. But I mist"

Next Joke
 
"How many electrons does a negatively charged oxygen atom have? Nion"
"When someone says ""excuse me while I slip into something more comfortable"", how long are they usually gone? Two days seems like a long time."
"So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem... Comes out of nowhere"
"Family: come play dodgeball Me: nah Fam: oh come on Me: no thanks Fam: JUST PLAY Me: *nails 6 year old in the face*"
"A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist."
"What does an alcoholic neckbeard drink for breakfast? M'mosa"
"What did the green grape said to the purple grape? BREATHE, GOD DAMMIT!! BREATHE!!!"
"If you drop a brown bear and a white bear into a lake, which one dissolves first? The white one, because it's **Polar**."
"My stages of awkward: Sober me: I don't know what to do with my hands Drunk me: I don't know what to do with my face High me: What face?"