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Joke of the Day

"What does an alcoholic neckbeard drink for breakfast? M'mosa"

"I got caught making out with my cousin once - mum and dad went mental. In my defence we were just kids, and there was an awful lot of alcohol at her funeral."

"What is the best thing to do with lots of Dutch cheeses? Edam..."

"What does it mean when a doctor has both hands on your shoulders? The Prostate exam isn't going he way you expected"

"What is the difference between a divorce and a hurricane in the south? Nothing, someone is losing a trailer!"

"Why can't a bicycle stand up? It is two tired."

"Me: I'm ghosting him. Her: You stopped talking to him? Me: No, I'm showing up when he least expects it and scaring the shit out of him."

"Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb I said, ""Awww, are you an orphan""? He said, ""Yes, what gave me away?"" I said, ""Your parents."""

"There are two types of people in this world... Those that can recognise when data is missing..."

"What is a psychic medium? ...smaller than a psychic large."