115758

Joke of the Day

"I'm not sure who's more drunk, me or the guy wrapped in Christmas lights standing in the mirror."

"This one will probably take a while to understand. What kind of grades did Hitler make in school? Not C's!"

"What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? I just passed your friend in the woods."

"Why are oceans called ""The High Seas""? Because of all the seaweed!"

"GENIE: u get 3 wishes! ME: for my first wish, I want a never-ending bowl of guac GENIE: guac, huh? Yeah, that's gonna cost you an extra wish"

"Which villains steal soap from the bath? Robber ducks."

"There are two types of people in this world... those who like closure"

"What did the mother of the guy who broke his arms say at the beginning of every 'session'? ssh bby is ok"

"Two muffins are in an oven First muffin turns and says ""damn it's hot in here"" The second muffin says "" holy sh!t, A TALKING MUFFIN!"""

"General: Why is the whole battalion yellow and slimy? Me: I mustard the troops. General: ... Me: Just as you told me to, sir."