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Joke of the Day

"Old lady asked me to check her balance I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me to help check her balance, so I pushed her over"

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"How do you starve a black guy? Hide his food stamps under his work boots."
"My daughter teaches me something every day. Because you're supposed to learn from your mistakes"
"Amputees will not find this joke funny: Actually, I'm going to cut this joke short."
"What if all countries have ninjas, and we only know about the Asian ones because they suck?"
"My girlfriend came out of the shower and said ""I shaved my pussy, you know what that means?"" I said yeah,""the damn drain is clogged again!"". Edit: grammar"
"Q: What happens if you cross a goldfish's brain with a dog? A: I don't know, but it's great at chasing submarines"
"What do you say to a dangerously cheesy chicken? Stay out of parms way."
"Why Harriet Tubman shouldn't replace Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill The new $20 bill will only be worth $12"
"There are two cavemen sitting by a fire... [OC] One is eating some bugs he found, and he says to the other, ""You like beetles?"" and his friend says, ""No, *CRUNCH CRUNCH*, me more of a stones guy."""