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Joke of the Day

"When an artist covers another artist's song, it's flattering. When a comedian tells another comedian's joke, it's Carlos Mencia"

"what's the difference between an elephant and a sicilian grandmother? the black dress"

"Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a registered six-offender! Edit; not my joke!"

"Why won't anyone eat the dogs birthday cake? Because he always slobbers out the candles!"

"Normally I can't dance to save my life, but as soon as I step in dog shit, I can moonwalk better than Michael Jackson"

"Hey, maybe one time we could make a sitcom where the husband is out of the wife's league and the wife says stupid shit all the time."

"""you are the only one who understands me"" i whisper to a piece of pizza."

"I don't do drugs. I take drugs. My brain does the drugs. Follow me? Me either -because drugs"

"If my dick were a card... (x-post from r/hearthstone) ...It'd have overload because you can't take it all at once."

"A fight broke out at the bubble-making contest. It came to blows."