159172

Joke of the Day

"A fight broke out at the bubble-making contest. It came to blows."

"Somebody broke into my house yesterday, and stole all my lamps. I was delighted."

"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Unless he's a Vegetarian. Then you can get there through his vagina."

"Birth certificates need a popup dialog box: ""Are you SURE you want to spell your kid's name that way?"""

"I want to tell a chemistry joke... But all the good ones argon."

"What do you call someone who tells too many lame dinosaur jokes? I dino-bore! . I'm sorry."

"Some guy just read the funniest joke he's read all week, and then down-voted it. This joke is about him. What do you call an internet addict full of negativity? You don't. No one calls him. Ever."

"Never make the same mistake twice. Make it three times. Be sure."

"Him: I just had sex with that woman! Me: She's 60. Him: I know. Me: I Hope you used protection or you might have caught osteoporosis."

"Just saw a large group of 20 yr olds saying a blessing before eating. Then I realized they were all just looking at their phones."