115661

Joke of the Day

"[on a date] *wonders if she'll steal my fries while I use the restroom* *shakes Magic 8 ball* ""YES"" *takes plate of fries with me*"

"How do you milk a sheep? Bring out a new iPhone."

"What do you call a bird that drunkenly conveys a compelling perspective on racial hatred? Tequila Mockingbird."

"I wish I could explain my fear of needles... they just get under my skin."

"flavor flav's full name is flavor flavor"

"A man was arrested for publicly exposing himself to the ""wrong person,"" which implies somewhere out there the right person is waiting."

"They say that Insanity is hereditary... you get it from your kids."

"Stephen Hawking seems to be a very emotional person He is even moved by his chair"

"Whats the difference between a retard and a woman? The retard doesn't need to be buggered to think he's special."

"I'm doing Bikram yoga today. By that I mean I'm in the back seat of a hot car trying to contort myself enough to reach the ignition."