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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a bird that drunkenly conveys a compelling perspective on racial hatred? Tequila Mockingbird."

"What do the average woman and kids on a snow day have in common? They're both hoping for nine inches, but will be happy enough with five."

"What's one thing you never want to hear your wife say while having sex? ""Honey, I'm home!"""

"i look like i'm trying to get water out of my ears when i dance"

"I kept reading a book about Gawker... But every page kept going back to Chapter 11"

"If you were a hot chick. You probably just hatched!"

"What do you get when you cross a lima bean with a Soviet? A Lenintil..."

"Look, Clinton's gonna win. US President order has to follow Star Trek Captain order: white guy, white guy, black guy, woman, Scott Bakula."

"An immigration officer asks a drunk man if he's Hungarian he says ""yep, but my name's not Arian"""

"What is a cannibal's favorite food? Baked Beings."