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Joke of the Day

"Just finished building Rome with Legos. Took me a day."

"So I fucked this bitch last night, but she was really clingy. I asked a friend for his insight, he said ""Yeah man, golden retrievers can be like that sometimes."""

"According to my current parking spot I'm a physician"

"Remember when you were a kid and used to blow Bubbles? Well, Bubbles is back in town and he's looking for your number."

"feeling dunb after a class test they are always the same :( reddit jokes saved me"

"What do you call a scary horse? A night-mare."

"Why did the necromancer fail to meet his quarterly sales goal? He ran his business on a skeleton crew."

"I just know my cause of death will be trying to scoot my office chair around as fast as possible."

"I'm sick and tired of people telling me to turn off my lights to save the environment. I tried it once and I hit a cyclist."

"What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator"