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Joke of the Day

"Life is like a sewer... What you get out of it depends on what you put into it. (Shamelessly ripped from An Evening Wasted with Tom Lehrer)"

"People who learned a bunch of stuff must've felt pretty stupid when Wikipedia came out."

"I fell asleep at 3:45. My 5yo woke up at 6:30. Use protection, young people."

"Moses had the first tablet with cloud connectivity."

"My car has started clicking at me. I think it's trying to tell me something, but the jokes on him, I don't speak a single African language."

"Once I made the mistake of telling Jesus to take the wheel on a Sunday. Once."

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Dismembered"

"What did Jaws call his solo banking firm? Loan shark."

"How many kids with ADD does it take to change a light bulb? Wanna ride bikes?!"

"Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp."