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Joke of the Day
"I fell asleep at 3:45. My 5yo woke up at 6:30. Use protection, young people."
Next Joke
"*gets laser eye surgery* ""Thanks doc, so how do I activate them?"" I told you, that's not what *i squint at him real hard but he's right*"
"I invented a Poem: ""I dig, you dig, he digs, she digs, it digs. We dig, they dig, you dig. It's not very good - but quite deep."
"What were the last two pizzas delivered to the world trade centers? Two large planes"
"If everyone has a beautiful side, I guess I'm a circle."
"What do you call an angry German? A sauerkraut"
"When we draw birds we basically just draw flying mustaches."
"At my job I am forced to deal with more cunts than a gynecologist."
"How many ants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only 2, but fuck if I know how they got in there"
"Life advice: If someone ever tells you ""I'll be there in thirty minutes"", you should ALWAYS respond with ""You've got twenty"" and hang up."