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Joke of the Day

"Why do computer programmers spend so much time in the shower? The directions clearly state: ""Rinse, lather, repeat"""

"Two bloke sitting in a pub watching a dog lick its balls. One turns to the other and says ""I wish I could do that."" The second drunk replies ""Give him a biscuit and he might let you."""

"[Interview room] Me: I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present Cop: You ARE the lawyer Me: So where's my present?!"

"Why are there no penguins in Britain? They're scared of Wales."

"A Riddle: Where did the apple go when it's parents died? Answer: To a Bananas foster home."

"Why was the baby elf sad? Because he was Legolas"

"Girl: I like guys with six-packs... Guy: *opens refrigerator*"

"What do you get when you throw a grenade in a French kitchen? Linoleum Blownapart"

"I think my husband cheated on me. Not one of our kids resembles him at all..."

"Shopping for a minivan at a car show while you're married is like going to a strip club and looking at the DJ."