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Joke of the Day

"Two bloke sitting in a pub watching a dog lick its balls. One turns to the other and says ""I wish I could do that."" The second drunk replies ""Give him a biscuit and he might let you."""

"Confucius say... Confucius say man with beard face rough time!"

"I told my mom that bukkake is Japanese for bundt cake... I hope I'm there when she orders dessert at the steak house."

"Why do republicans hate math? They were never comfortable with integration."

"Why do Mac users have such high electricity bills, but low gas bills? They don't have windows."

"Valentines Day Drinks: $80. Dinner: $75. The room: $250. The look on his face when she says ""I'm on my period"": Priceless."

"Me: Did you have a shirt on when you said it? Wife: I was naked, just out of the shower. Me: And you expected me to remember what you said?"

"If you ask me about my love life, I can honestly say... I'm holding my own."

"Survey Says A survey found that 20% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house, and 80% kiss their house goodbye when they leave their wife."

"I hate it when I'm brushing my teeth and Kiefer Sutherland climbs out of the toilet just to ask me if he can bum a cigarette."