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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you throw a grenade in a French kitchen? Linoleum Blownapart"

"What did James Potter say to his wife when she told him she's been cheating with one of his friends ? ARE YOU FUCKING SIRIUS ?"

"what does a 9 volt battery and your girlfriend's arsehole have in common? Even though you know you shouldn't you give them both a lick"

"I can't wait for Alien vs. Predator vs. Liam Neeson."

"A pessimist and an optimist are watching one of the 2016 debates... The pessimist says ""It can't get any worse"" and the optimist says ""Oh yes it can!"""

"Did you hear Jurassic World got shut down? Apparently they found a crisp rat in the kitchen!"

"The Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue is so weird. It's like, ""We know you read us for sports but how about this week you just beat off?"""

"Why don't ants get sick? They have little antibodies"

"I used to be brilliant at robotic dancing. I'm a bit rusty now though."

"Q: Why do blondes have orgasms? A: So they know when to stop having sex."