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Joke of the Day

"Shopping for a minivan at a car show while you're married is like going to a strip club and looking at the DJ."

"A thief broke into my house last night He started searching for money, so I woke up and searched with him."

"""Everyone says they're voting for Clinton or Trump, but I'm voting for Regina George because she got hit by a bus."""

"Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?"

"What did the pregnant blonde ask at the doctor's office? ...Is it mine?"

"What's the difference between a prostitute and jesus? The face they make when you nail them."

"Why are lawyers and their clients not allowed to engage in sexual relations? So the client doesn't get billed twice for getting fucked twice!"

"Need help getting these blackheads off my face How do I politely ask these nice African American gentleman to take turns ?"

"Drinks at the bar should be served in capri sun-like pouches, and if you can't get the straw in, you are cut off."

"#wordsofwisdom If it says, 'Do not try this at home' - go and visit a friend."