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Joke of the Day

"2 Chefs decide to make a Mexican themed dinner for their Anniversary... Chef 1 turns to Chef 2 and utters, ""you and I will make passionate shit together"""

"ME ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you ? My Wife... Turn sideways and look in the mirror!"

"You can make up any word you want in conversation and if you use it in a dilsationary way, people rarely question the meaning."

"""I am the ghost of Christmas Future Perfect Subjunctive: I will show you what would have happened were you not to have changed your ways!"""

"My girlfriend says I'm an idiot with money. But I'm tellin' ya, she's wrong! I'm an idiot with no money!"

"What do you call a foot doctor, curled up in a ball on the floor? A pedal physician in the fetal position."

"I'm so single my cat has a cat."

"A girl goes to the doctor... A girl asks her doctor ""Are there many calories in sperm?"". Doc replies ""Look love, if you swallow, no one cares how fat you are!""."

"My wife sent me out to buy something that would make her look sexy. So I went to the store, and came home with a case of beer."

"As Freud said ""Who cites, needs sex"""