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Joke of the Day

"You can make up any word you want in conversation and if you use it in a dilsationary way, people rarely question the meaning."

"So Isaac Newton sits under a coconut tree..."

"Finish this thought A man lands on his driveway, gets out of his spaceship, enters his home to find..."

"My coworker just took a broom and pole vaulted over the cubicle partition to confront the woman who accused her of being on speed."

"My patient was refused his organ transplant. But I didn't have the heart to tell him."

"I heard that #TheDress debate has already destroyed 18 relationships. These people probably shouldn't be breeding anyway."

"Q: Why did the suspenders get arrested? A: Because they held up a pair of pants."

"Damn girl are you a smoke detector? Because you're super annoying and won't shut up"

"If you ever see a troll eat a fairy It's either time for rehab or you're on Reddit."

"Tell me more about how awful dubstep is, generation that celebrated disco."