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Joke of the Day

"My wife sent me out to buy something that would make her look sexy. So I went to the store, and came home with a case of beer."

"What does a news anchor say during sex? this just in"

"Why do you think your report should be on the net? Because my marks are all 'E's."

"What would the world be like without women? A real pain in the ass!"

"*Brings axe to slumber party* ""Oops. I thought you said 'lumber party'"" *Knew the whole time* *Waits until they're asleep* *Chops down tree*"

"I've been reading a book about the history of glue. I can't put it down!"

"How many Dependent P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb? None he's still clinging to the old lightbulb."

"Today is national Radio day. Do you copy? 10-4"

"[back from the ultrasound] MOTHER-IN-LAW: So did you see the fetus? ME: Fetus, handus, legus...there was practically a whole baby in there!"

"Eastman School of Music Fart Scale circa 1963 (no kidding - I did not make this up) In order of increasing pitch: Fahhrt Fuzz Fitty-Fuzz Poot Tarass Rattler"