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Joke of the Day
"My friend turned up to my costume party dressed as an abacus. I knew I could count on him."
Next Joke
"[Being murdered at Walmart] Please will you dump my dead body at Target people can't know I shopped here"
"Helping a gang of squirrels buy remote control cars against my better judgment."
"What do you call an epileptic leper taking a bath? Porridge."
"Q: Why would it be difficult to be a police officer? A: It would be tough to be an idiot all day long."
"What did the clitorus say to its neighbor when he moved out of town.. See you labia"
"A horse walks into a bar The bartender asks, ""why the long face?"" The horse starts crying. In between the sobs, he says ""it's not my fault I look like Sarah Jessica Parker!"""
"How are Jews and children similar? They both don't like to take showers."
"Hey guys, remember that one time, when Clinton was president and gas was a like a $1 a gallon and people had money and jobs and shit?"
"when I heard the news about Nintendo's president... it made my eye-wata"