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Joke of the Day

"Some days, I wish I were robosexual, because if I was into bots, I would have all the luck on Tinder."

"A dog was giving birth on the side of the road... She was cited with littering."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's an obscure number. You've probably never heard of it."

"Why is Columbus a slang term for cocaine in Native American communities? Because it's white and kills them."

"Why is today John Philip Sousa Day? Because he told everyone to march fourth."

"I'll lean at a 45 degree angle if I'm so inclined."

"New Year's is just a holiday created by calendar companies who don't want you reusing last year's calendar."

"What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in, Robin."

"There's a doping scandal at the Rio de Janeiro Paralympics involving the Russians. We will see if these accusation stories have any legs."

"As I sit here naked in Hugh Jackman's hotel room, it occurs to me that I might have mixed up my bucket list with my wife's."