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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my cock in your ass. Yup, from HIMYM, but I believe in the episode Barney asked, ""What's the difference between peanut butter and jam?"""

"A couple of Irishmen are walking down a country road . . . They see a sign that says ""Tree Fellers wanted"". One of them turns to the other and says, ""Dammit. Too bad there's only two of us."""

"Do you know how Jewish birds chirp? Cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap!"

"Waitress at Olive Garden tells me to say ""when"" and starts grating cheese on my salad I say nothing Room fills with Parmesan No one survives"

"Sorry for nicking your car w/my door, but you didn't leave much room. It's small, but I circled it with my key so you could find it."

"changed my voice settings to Spanish on my gps it told me i didn't have enough people in the car"

"Did you hear about player safety in the super bowl? Both teams suffered from blackouts"

"What's the difference between America and yoghurt? If you leave yoghurt alone for long enough it develops its own culture"

"I just finished a jigsaw puzzle. It only took me six months, which is amazing considering the box says 2-4 years."

"What is Kim Kardashian's favorite sex position? On camera. Credit to this week's episode of *The Soup*."