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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about player safety in the super bowl? Both teams suffered from blackouts"

"A cyclist told me to share the road, so I threw a piece of asphalt at him."

"On a flight I asked the guy behind me if he minded me reclining my seat. He said he did. It really put my back up."

"[deathbed] ME: Give me that sword & I'll haunt it when I die SON: I made this [hands me cake] ME: No! [dies] CAKE: [in my voice] God damn it"

"I asked my priest which musical instruments he plays. ""Mostly just piano,"" he replied, ""but when I'm at work I sometimes dabble with a little organ."""

"Why is divorce so expensive? Because it is worth it."

"My friend is nuts. He thinks he's Bugs Bunny. But I'm positive he isn't. How do you know he isn't? Because I am."

"what's the difference between a black man and a box of donuts? One of them's already full of holes before the cops see them."

"What is something that basically stops when you stare at it, but flys by when you dont? There are two answere: Time and Boo (from Mario games). Just made this joke up what do you guys think?"

"If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes."