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Joke of the Day

"A redditor and his friend, Elle, walk into a bar... The redditor notices a jar of mayonnaise on the bar, so he says, ""Hey, Elle, a mayo!"""

Next Joke
 
"""Sir u have a hernia"" ""Haha c'mon doc don't u mean a HISnea?"" ""No I meant hern-"" ""Im obviously a guy. How did u even get a medical license?"""
"Stabbed myself in the eye with a yellow pen and now everything looks all Instagramy."
"A man turns to another and says: ""sitting here is almost as bad as being drunk"" the second man, confused, asks ""How bad can being drunk be?"" the first responds, ""Try asking a glass of water"""
"My epileptic son loves our new Christmas tree. You should see how excited he gets when we turn on the lights."
"What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit? The first herd shot round the world!"
"Gay jokes are really not cool. Cum on guys."
"What did the SJW do for Halloween? Went trigger-treating."
"(Quick one-liner joke:) Why are pretty women like pianos? Because when they're not upright, they're grand!"
"Coworkers: Zack, you should come to a hookah bar with us! Me: Why? Who's celebrating their 12th birthday?"