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Joke of the Day

"A man turns to another and says: ""sitting here is almost as bad as being drunk"" the second man, confused, asks ""How bad can being drunk be?"" the first responds, ""Try asking a glass of water"""

"Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is."

"How many NYPD officers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just beat the room for being black."

"Two prostitutes are talking about their clients... One of them says ""So yesterday I had this client who had a dick like my leg!"", the other replies ""Impossible - no man has a dick that's that dirty""."

"Twitter is like a dorm, someone is always up at every hour, someone is crying and someone is drunk."

"A poem about bugs: If it can fly, it should die."

"What's a calender's favorite fruit? Dates."

"What they told you about Mormonism is a lie Because they can't tell the truth"

"""GRAAAAAAIIIINNNNS"" Vegetarian Zombie"

"How hungry do you have to be to eat feces? ...just hungry enough to get McDonald's."