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Joke of the Day

"Coworkers: Zack, you should come to a hookah bar with us! Me: Why? Who's celebrating their 12th birthday?"

"Somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a note on my windscreen which said, 'Parking Fine.' That was nice..."

"Who do women produce milk for? The baby and the dad."

"Do you know why doctors are prescribing medical marijuana for arthritis? Because the definition of arthritis is inflammation of the joints"

"Reddit, how do you ruin a punchline? [removed]"

"I once called a psychic. She asked who was on the line, so I hung up."

"What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with a Hell's Angel? Someone that knocks on your door and tells YOU to fuck off."

"Me: Who will I share the sunset with now?! *sobs* Friend: Bad breakup? Me: No. *wipes tears* My Instagram isn't working."

"Some people say I have my mom's eyes... but since they can't find them they've never been able to prove it in a court of law."

"What's a pedophile's favorite kind of shoe? White Vans..."