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Joke of the Day

"There are two types of people: Those who extrapolate from incomplete data... ...and those who understand the importance of error bars."

"I like my coffee like I like my women Basically, I'm now banned from Starbucks."

"We'll probably get a raging Boehner after the State of the Union address tonight."

"You show me your boobs and I'll show you my tattoo... Tit for Tat"

"My friend's coming over, I've got to be careful... ...my house mates are crazy and he's allergic to nuts. *Yes indeed.*"

"Why are Americans so bad at chess? Because they don't have 2 towers."

"How do you request another Mormon wife? Brigham Young"

"The Mexican magician The Mexican Magician tells the audience she will disappear on the count of three. He says ""uno...dos...*poof*"" he disappeared without a tres."

"Want to send a 4-year-old boy into a blind rage? Repeatedly tell him he's wrong and you are positive their names are ""Batman and Robert""."

"Bernie Sanders The real reason Bernie Sanders went to the hospital because he looked at his poll numbers Berning up. Doctors have said that he must have felt the BERN."