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Joke of the Day

"The State of Illinois has just unveiled its new welcome sign... Welcome to Illinois; not ALL of our elected officials have been indicted!"

"Madonna fell while performing at a show yesterday. When asked about it, she said... ""All that time on my back reminded me of the 80's"""

"What is a neckbeard's favorite language? M'lay."

"NPR recently started a heavy metal band. 'All Things Dismembered'"

"Sorry a remote fell out when you took off my bra"

"I constantly google ""how to put your kids up for adoption"" so my kids can find it on my search history and know that I'm not messing around."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? I doesn't matter, it won't come when you call it."

"/r/jokes It's funny because hardly anything here can be considered a joke."

"[baby is bouncing in swing seat] I I wish I had one of those. HER DAD They bring great joy. I (to self) Oh, he thinks I mean a baby."

"What do you get from pampering your cow? Spoiled milk."