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Joke of the Day

"I walked into a shop and saw a radio for sale because the volume was stuck on high... ...I thought, I can't turn this down!"

"I recently submitted my resume to Sony But they canceled the interview"

"You say lasagna. I say spaghetti cake. Because my 3 year old won't eat lasagna."

"How much cocaine can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men."

"So there I was at my favorite seafood restaurant having dinner, and I told David, my favorite waiter, that TONIGHT I wanted my fish exactly how I like my wife... ...""Battered it is, sir."""

"Reason why I'm single... Because it's impossible to be double."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? An obscure number you've probably never heard of......"

"I took my boat out the other day and it made sounds as if it were sick. So I took it to the dock."

"Have you heard about the elephant that went on a crash diet ? He wrecked three cars a bus and two fire engines !"

"Children are so unappreciative these days. I bought my daughter a rabbit. She just keeps complaining about how it ""doesn't count if it's roadkill""."