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Joke of the Day

"Children are so unappreciative these days. I bought my daughter a rabbit. She just keeps complaining about how it ""doesn't count if it's roadkill""."

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"What's the difference between inlaws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted."
"Q: Why couldn't the cat speak? A: The dog taped his mouth."
"How to tell if you're girlfriend is TOO fat. When she sits on your face and you can't hear your stereo any more."
"Who runs the 100 acre wood website? www.innie the pooh."
"Evil Queen: mirror- Hand Mirror: what Evil Queen: mirror- Hand Mirror: WHAT Evil Queen: on the wall Hand Mirror: oh shit sorry"
"What is the definition of trust? Two cannibals giving each other a blow iob."
"So last year I dressed up as a bop it for Halloween... I should've known I'd end up in jail"
"Rick astley will let you borrow any movie from his collection of Pixar films except one. He's never going to give you Up."
"What do you call a chain of singing islands? An acapellago."