61648

Joke of the Day

"Terrible music pun If a person were to have sex with Andrew Stockdale, would that make them a wolf, motherfucker?"

"cashier at the book store told me to ""take it easy"" so I stabbed her in the neck with my keys because nobody tells me how to live my life."

"This is your captain speaking, AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING."

"I'm romantic so I treat my girlfriend to a candlelight dinner every night, plus she's getting fat and candlelight has like zero calories."

"16 yr old nephew bought me a Miley Cyrus CD. He said ""Listen to it, it'll change your mind. It did change my mind. I used to like my nephew."

"What is the difference between a strip club and a circus? At a circus has cunning stunts"

"__________________________________________ Just drawing the line somewhere on R/Jokes"

"I schedule my appointments for 9:11 so I never forget."

"Dinner conversation: 10YO: What 6 things would you want on a deserted island? Me: 1) You-- 10YO: Seriously? Why would you drag me into that?"

"When God created china he knew he would never have to make anything else again....."