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Joke of the Day

"How do you blind a Chinese man? lay floss over their eyes"

"Where did I get my scarf? It's a CVS receipt. You love it? Oh thank you very much."

"Did you know 94% of Fords are still on the road? The other 6% made it home."

"Why did the boy stand behind the horse? He thought he might get a kick out of it!"

"what is worse than the holocaust 6 million jews"

"I saw two really fat people today talking... Looked like a heavy discussion"

"This morning I waved to the garbage men and smiled at coworkers in the elevator and now I'm pretty sure my wife is drugging my coffee."

"I'm working on inventing an electronic Ouija board so that I can keep tweeting after I die."

"What did the little boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves. Just kidding, he hasn't opened them yet."

"I'd like to explain what happened before the big bang Unfortunately there's no time"