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Joke of the Day
"Why didn't the Turkey cross the road? It was too Chicken."
Next Joke
"I've been arrested for robbing a bank dressed as a frog. It's the first time I've ever kermitted a crime."
"Werner Heisenberg's epitaph: Here lies Heisenberg. ^^^?"
"""What does it mean when you see a flag flying at half-mast outside of a mostly white high school?"" They're hiring."
"Running out of space for your porn collection? Just download midget porn, it's half the size"
"When arguing, I let the other person speak first, then help them see my point by starting with, ""Now, what I'm about to say is correct"""
"Wife: I heard you have a new secretary today? Husband:Yes. Wife:Is she smart? Husband:Yes. Wife:Is she pretty? Husband:Yes. Wife:How did she dress today? Husband:Very quickly."
"People that keep their chin up probably don't find as much change as I do."
"Like prison, most don't learn the life of crime till locked up. Like twitter, I learned to creep into houses and quietly eat their cheese."
"Thanks for warning me to be careful after I slipped & fell. I'll be sure to wish you luck on your lab test results at your funeral."