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Joke of the Day

"What did the little boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves. Just kidding, he hasn't opened them yet."

"Why do they have fences around cemetaries? Because people are dying to get in."

"How well do people with mesothelioma breathe? Asbestos they can."

"Why did the hipster fail chemistry? He thought the bond was ironic."

"The Vietnamese hooker who works next to the asbestos factory always says, ""Ooh, me so thelioma."""

"What do u call a soda that has eyes A fanta see. It never happens"

"I want to live the kind of life that when St. Peter looks over my list of sins he gives me a high-five before he sends me to hell."

"How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb? Apparently not five because my basements still dark..."

"The next iPhone won't be a failure In fact, it'll be a huge 6S."

"How do you make 5 pounds of ugly fat really attractive? Put a nipple on it!"