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Joke of the Day

"I saw two really fat people today talking... Looked like a heavy discussion"

"Old Navy is like my weird friend from third grade. Like, I know we used to be really close, but if you asked me if I knew him I'd say no."

"What would Vincent Van Gogh be if he was a sheep? Lamb Gogh"

"The movie industry has been irresponsible in the way it has glamorized getting splashed by a passing car."

"Everybody was Feng Shui fighting, those cats improved my ambient lighting."

"Smart Friend My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face."

"How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? Rotten eggs"

"What's the worst part about raping a deaf chick? You have to cut her fingers off so she can't tell anyone!"

"What do you call a smart guy in US? A tourist."

"I joined snapchat yesterday; apparently my phone doesn't die fast enough for my liking."