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Joke of the Day

"This morning I waved to the garbage men and smiled at coworkers in the elevator and now I'm pretty sure my wife is drugging my coffee."

"What does Disney and the porn industry have in common? They both hire adults that look like teenagers."

"What does Kansas and jews have in common Dust in the wind"

"Did you guys hear about the girl that had three vaginas? She kept getting fucked left, right and centre."

"It's weird to think there was a time when the most data a tablet could hold was five commandments."

"Here lies Aunt Brenda. Trampled to death on the day after Thanksgiving trying to save $18 on a crock pot. Rest in peace, sweet angel."

"If you want to know if a girl is into you, look at her feet. If they point away from you she's not interested, if they're behind her ears she's very interested."

"Q: What do the Republicans have that Bill Clinton wishes he had? A: A mandate to govern."

"What do you call an alligator from India whose in charge of telling everyone what to do? A Deli-gator...I'll be here all week!"

"Will you tell you the story of the huge sad wall? I shouldn't, you'll never get over it."